are presented without warranty. But sometimes you're looking for the perfect idea for someone really special, and you need something creative and unique. Know what you own, and know why you own it. Wishing you a happy retirement! I got stopped last night by a police officer. The purr-petrator. James M. Barrie, A man ought to work. 124 Retirement Quotes: Funny Retirement Quotes, Inspirational Retirement Quotes and More! George Bernard Shaw, The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know youll grow out of it. Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!" - Unknown "Retire from work, but not from life." - M.K. 32. Here's hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.". which every Judge takes, outside these city walls, into the cursed Earth. 26. A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. There's more time for leisure but retirees take many different paths. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. We go. Retirement is not the end of the road. Retirement is not impossible, get ahead with these tips to get ready! Funny Retirement Quotes. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. Get great tips for managing money in retirement, What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement, 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings, 4 ways to find meaning and purpose in retirement. For example, some Americans start a second career during retirement. Mason Cooley, Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. 48. 47. Scott Cook 0 Likes Sponsored Links We tell 'em to get a life." Walter Cronkite, "I'm always announcing my retirement. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. There is no requirement that police stop a person who enters a police station and states that he wishes to confess a crime or a person who calls the police to offer a confession because volunteered statements of any kind are not barred by the 5th Amendment. Fred Rogers The best is yet to come! Because it was mugged. 5. 2. No gold watch could ever top it. Abigail Charleson. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. picclick.com. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. What do you call a clairvoyant who escaped from prison? Robert Benchley, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be a shortage of fishing poles. Check out our funny police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. It means choice." to date. 51. All the best for an amazing retirement! 13 Funny Retirement Quotes to Write in Retirement Cards Lindsay Tigar Updated: Jan. 13, 2023 Retirement is a happy, celebratory time where one can finally reap the benefits of multi-decade. Hartman Jule, "I have never liked working. 8329 matching entries found. Confucius, "Well, I didn't grow up with that word 'retirement' as part of my consciousness. 45. Funny Cop Retirement Gift - Police Officer Retirement Poster By Adexyl $25.13 Copy of I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 A Legendary Police Officer Has Retired Poster By HappyDelights $25.13 Thats how he contributes to the welfare of the community. "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.". I'm Retired. Chuck Knox, Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination. Junior Seau. Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress. 7. Congratulations. Our top 50 retirement quotes, wishes and sayings are useful for retirement cards. You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! Funny retirement teacher retirement party police sarcastic police humor funny jokes facebook status it is what it is funny facebook status jobs sarcasm smart alec. It's all lazy days from now on! Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. You Served Honestly, Faithfully and A cop gives a woman a speeding ticket, and she wants to know why he didnt give her a warning first. I did not write the law. The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games. "Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.". I cant get old; Im working. The money is no better in retirement but the hours are! 12. If you look at what you have in life, youll always have more. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Jerry Seinfeld, "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. Fitzhugh Dodson, NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Brainyquote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! Scott Elledge, Retired is being twice tired, Ive thought first tired of working, then tired of not. Terri Guillemets, Tips for retirement from the science of happiness, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss Danielle Duckery, "You have to put off being young until you can retire." Did you hear about the criminal who stole a lamp? NewRetirement strives to keep its information and tools accurate and up Share this quote on facebook send via mail. Being a Boomer, my friends are beginning to retire or at least thinking about it. professionalism has set the tone West, "Stay young at heart, kind in spirit, and enjoy retirement living." When Can I Retire?, and Whats My Retirement Income. Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. Mark Twain, Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay! Unknown, Retire from work, but not from life. M.K. Author Unknown, Learn how age discrimination can threaten your future, Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. Jonathan Clements, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. The Beatles are well-known enough to be a great choice for a retirement party. Why did the police arrest the turkey? May we live up to your example. 23. Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer? Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Unknown, "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job." As you plan retirement figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman Jump in! Police Retirement Quotes and Plaque Wording Ideas #653-1 "Thin Blue Line" Police Retirement Plaque Wording Idea Honoring Your Service Presented to Retired Sergeant In appreciation for over 31 years of loyal and dedicated service to the People of the City of New York. Arthur E. Morgan, Before you speak, listen. Retirement caps a career and opens the door to long-anticipated plans and dreams. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. So I do it three or four times a day." "How did you get your answer?" "Easy," says Martin, "just subtract 191 from Wednesday." Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. Honor the dignity of the Thin Blue Line with police retirement plaque wording ideas that really mean something. Farewell Tension. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. To me, a job is an invasion of privacy. Unknown, He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Unknown, There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Robert Half, Retirement: its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, We make a living by what we get. more on this quote . Ella Harris, You have to put off being young until you can retire. It was mugged. John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. I guess he wants a rematch because hes been following me for about 45 minutes. Tips On How To Save For Retirement Without A 401k, Best Places To Retire In Arizona 2020 | Retirement Communities, Memory Care Checklist: What To Ask & Look For, What is Memory Care? Retirement is not in my vocabulary. "I'm not retiring. The right one may even get you out of a speeding ticket. Unemployed and Loving It. Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. Goodbye Tension. Police chief: Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case? You cant win until you do this. Congratulations on your well-earned retirement. But I am happy you get to retire You always did inspire! I call it bliss." "John Wick: "I'm workin' on it." - John Wick: Chapter 2. Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. What is five times five?" "Wednesday," replies Jenkin man. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. Oliver Wendell Holmes, The best is yet to come! 4.5 out of 5 stars (455) $ 15.00 FREE shipping Add to Favorites Retirement Gifts. Betty White. - Gail Sheehy. Author Unknown, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Fred Rogers, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Richard Armour, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Keep in touch . Police Retirement. Ella Harris, "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. We tell em to get a life. Vince Lombardi, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Unknown, Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work. Clarence Darrow, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Max Asnas, I dont feel old. Have you ever been pulled over for a speeding ticket that you didnt think you deserved? You may also share these fun retirement quotes. 49. I asked a rookie what he would do if he had to arrest his mother. Humorous quotes and messages. A Lifelong Friendship. Inspirational Retirement Quotes Funny Quotes About Retirement Funny Retirement Quotes For Women Maxine Retirement Quotes Funny Life Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes . Sandra Day O'Connor, "I wanted to have more time to play and reflect, but I find retirement more stressful than having a nice, steady job because I have to make decisions about where I want to be." - Greg Tamblyn " You gain two new best friends upon your retirement. What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. They said he was a real pro for a first offender. Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. Funny Retired Police Officer Golf Retirement Gift T-Shirt 4.8 (9) $1999 FREE delivery Wed, Mar 8 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Amazon Merch on Demand 5.0 (10) +4 colors/patterns Retirement Gift Ideas Police Officer Men or Women Mens Retired Police Officer Law Enforcement Sheriff Retirement T-Shirt 5.0 (1) $1799 14. Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Fred Rogers, "For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom." 15. To the People of Barnwell County, SC. Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you havent done in years. Gene Perret, "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese." The time now has come; the time is in your own hands. Funny I dont remember applying for a job there. We help. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service Oh, my friend, that can't be! Good Luck with Your Retirement which is going to haunt you. Else, I would have to go to the police station and report you to the cops. We strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a financial Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. Its not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. 21. I don't necessarily believe in physical retirement. Bruce Grocott, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Why did the police arrest the star? Weve also compiled some police officer happy retirement messages and wishes if youre looking for an inscription with a little more flexibility. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. forget that the highest appreciation is not Stephen Covey 47 Likes Police quotes Safety quotes Community quotes Unknown, Expect the best. Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. To me a job is an invasion of privacy." Did you hear about the two peanuts who walked through a bad neighborhood? Sandra Day OConnor, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Pennsylvania State Police Department Seal Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. It ain't going to happen.". I call it bliss. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. We, the Officers of the Hartford Police I wish i can also retire right now so that i don t need to call anyone boss. Call the Police. Retirement Farewell Quotes for Coworker. 6. I tell them, a paternity suit. "Heroes don't always wear capes." -Unknown. "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. Happy retirement my dear friend. | Questions to ask the Facility, Moving A Parent With Dementia into Assisted Living. "I'm the police, and I'm here to arrest you. Retirement is a time to reflect and enjoy your golden years. We, the members of the NYPD, Today is my graduation day. Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." Many folks think they arent good at earning money, when what they dont know is how to use it. I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. . Gene Perret, "Retirement is not in my vocabulary. 56. 6. "Hello, Goodbye" by The Beatles. "Congratulations on your retirement!". Congratulations! I feel as light as a feather. Javier Perez De Cuellar, Happiness is being like you retired! Catherine Pulsifer, The moneys no better in retirement but the hours are. Unknown, Retirement is when you stop living at work and begin working at living. Unknown, Retirement itself is the best gift. Lewis, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson, As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning. Earl Nightingale, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. R.C. We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. Unknown, "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, 'Hi, Honey, I'm homeforever.'" "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. "May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.". Before the officer can even say a word at the stop, the mandressed in a tuxedoblurts out, "Sir you have to listen to me". Retirement is just a never ending vacation. on the next chapter in your life, The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. Ifyou feel like theres something out there that youre supposed to be doing, it you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. Sargent: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner." Woman: "I bet the bastard will say I was speeding too." sergeant police joke confession woman driver speeding. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." -George Burns So if youre looking for inspiration, youve hit the mother lode. With Great Honor and Recognition Goodbye Tension - Hello Pension! We Wish You All the Best in Your Retirement! Before you die, give. to utter words, but to live by them. Dishes who? Retiring State Trooper After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. At PoemSearcher.com find thousands of poems categorized into thousands of categories. Discover and share Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. 10. retirement 627 GIFs. This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind..
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